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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23608816">Out of Reach</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mintykaisoo/pseuds/mintykaisoo'>mintykaisoo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>EXO (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 15:34:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>862</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23608816</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mintykaisoo/pseuds/mintykaisoo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kyungsoo thinks about the things he could have done to keep Jongin from slipping away.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongin | Kai</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Out of Reach</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I was in the mood for a little angst :)</p><p>(This is just a quick write as an attempt to get rid of my writer's block hehe)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I want a divorce."</p><p>Oh.</p><p>To Kyungsoo, the first thought he had was 'Oh.'</p><p>It was almost like how a person would scrape their knee on concrete. The adrenaline and shock would numb the pain, and it would almost be like it was never there.</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"I've fallen out of love with you."</p><p>Oh.</p><p>And suddenly the adrenaline no longer numbed the pain as the words settled in Kyungsoo's mind, leaving behind a stinging grief that lingered in his chest. He wasn't sure if he wanted to cry or scream. It seemed like screaming was all they ever did for the past year, leading all the way up to this moment. Was it anger that burned at the pit of his stomach? Mourning? Guilt? Kyungsoo so badly wanted to keep pressing further, he so badly wanted to ask Jongin why.</p><p>Why?</p><p>Why?</p><p>What happened to them?</p><p>They're soulmates- or, Kyungsoo thought they were soulmates. What happened?</p><p>He thought back to the first time he met Jongin during his trainee days. He remembered seeing Jongin and immediately falling in love with his beautiful tan skin, messy brown hair, and his obvious burning passion for dance. He remembered the first time he approached Jongin and seeing the scowl on the taller boy's lips. He remembered, after finally talking to each other properly, they both realized that everything had been a misunderstanding. That Kyungsoo hadn't really been glaring at Jongin on purpose, but that it was the fault of his astigmatism. He remembered the first of many coffee dates that they had gone on. How with each date they went on, Kyungsoo found himself falling harder for the tanned boy. </p><p>He remembered the first kiss he shared with Jongin, and just how perfectly that they fit together.</p><p>The feelings grew, all throughout their idol careers. He remembered the hardships, the heart ache, the inevitable pain that they both felt when they had to hide their relationship from the public.</p><p>He remembered the day his contract ended and they were free from their idol lives.</p><p>They announced to the world that they were getting married.</p><p>That was six years ago.</p><p>And right now, at this moment, the couple stood in their shared bedroom. The two no longer faced each other.</p><p>"Did you find someone else?" Kyungsoo drew a shaky breath.</p><p>"I did."</p><p>"What's his name?"</p><p>"Her name is Jennie."</p><p>"Oh."</p><p>This time, Kyungsoo said it out loud. Not that it would numb the pain anymore, in fact he realized that it made the dull stinging in his chest worse.</p><p>He remembers Jennie: the idol that Jongin had fake dated during his time in the military. It was a ploy, everyone knew that it was a publicity stunt. There were no feelings behind it.</p><p>Or, Kyungsoo thought that there were no feelings behind it.</p><p>How much had Kyungsoo not known about Jongin?</p><p>Could he have prevented this?</p><p>Kyungsoo thinks hard. He wants to know.</p><p>What happened in the year leading up to the bitter end?</p><p>Kyungsoo thinks it started with petty bickering. Simple things like what they were gonna eat for dinner, how Jongin was lazy and never picked up for himself, how Kyungsoo was uptight and never let Jongin do anything. He thinks that the bickering escalated into raised voices when they began to accuse each other of things they didn't do. He thinks of the screaming matches, that always ended with Jongin storming out of the house and Kyungsoo on the floor sobbing wildly.</p><p>Kyungsoo failed to notice how much later Jongin seemed to come home from his late night endeavors. Or how after each screaming match, Jongin withdrew from Kyungsoo. How after every time Jongin came home, he would show up with unexplainable bruises on his shoulders, legs, chest.</p><p>That was a lie.</p><p>Kyungsoo saw it all.</p><p>He saw how Jongin could no longer look him in the eye, or how every word he spoke was now filled with venom. How Jongin now refused his every advance to be intimate. How Jongin never touched Kyungsoo with the same loving caresses that he once did. How soft looks now became empty stares.</p><p>Kyungsoo knows he could have stopped it. How everything could have been fixed had they had just sat down and talked just as they did when they were trainees. He knowes how unbelievably easy it would have been.</p><p>Why didn't he?</p><p>Kyungsoo doesn't know what to say when Jongin finally moves and hands him a stack of papers. </p><p>Oh. Right.</p><p>Kyungsoo took the papers, no longer meeting Jongin's eyes. There was nothing else to look at, unless he wanted to see the ghost of a man that he once loved.</p><p>In his hands, was a sign of resignation of their love. Kyungsoo knew this and yet</p><p>he signs them.</p><p>Without a word.</p><p>No malice.</p><p>No anger.</p><p>Simply full of love, the love that Jongin no longer beared for Kyungsoo. And Kyungsoo hopes that the love in each signature reaches Jongin.</p><p>The love he had to let Jongin go.</p><p>And as Kyungsoo handed the stack of papers back to Jongin,</p><p>Jongin took in a deep breath</p><p>and sighed softly</p><p>responding with</p><p> </p><p>a resounding</p><p> </p><p>"Oh."</p>
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